Myself: Shed

Im becoming more and more aware, day by day, it seems. But I dusted these past years of development, mindlessly and foolishly. I've adapted to things only to push them away. There is no way that the amount of THC put through my body has helped anything that mattered in my life. I hate it. I hate my actions. I've fucked up everything, always. Kept thinking I was figuring it out. Ba ha. FUCK! And now all this love. And all those times I thought it was. They were never worth my time, but your something else. I'm just lost now. I blame myself on that, and I dont blame you for ending this so soon. You deserve someone amazing.. And I want to be that person, but I know I cant be at this point, I've already messed it up, haven't I? Things have never felt so right though, and nobody has ever told me things like you do, and want to do all these things, that Im afraid will stand still from now on.. I just hope your happy without me. I dont think I'll be able to bare seeing you with someone else now, or hear about your drunk nights. I just wish I knew exactly what I was to you, which is fucking stupid, because here we are, I sit here and wonder why I lost myself in your eyes.. Perhaps I realized what someone could be to me.. Nobody has ever made me cry this much just thinking about them. Im so fucked up. Can I take you one more time? I want to be that person. You dont even know.